Love makes you do crazy things, but unfortunately, so can your insecurities. If the answer is "yes," Orbuch encourages you "to spend time with friends and family who think you're great and care about you"-regardless of your relationship status.īecause they love you for you (and tbh, have probably been missing you a bit since you hit committed-couple status), they'll be first in line to remind you exactly why you're awesome. Too-rigid boundaries that don't allow for reasonable (emphasis on reasonable) closeness with other people outside your relationship is a problem, she explains.
Yes, you want to feel close and securely attached to your partner, but they shouldn't **actually** be your ride-or-die. "Jealousy often reflects unhealthy boundaries," Squyres says. If you hash things out and they ensure you that your jealousy is unfounded-and you still feel it-you may want to consider talking to a professional, who can help sort through your emotions. Doing so can also help you jumpstart an open dialogue about what might trigger jealousy in you and your partner (it's bound to happen to them, too), so you can both be sensitive to any reasonable concerns going forward. "Talking it over with your partner is the best way to determine if you have something to worry about and what to do about it," says Squyres. (Try using "I" statements-like, "I'm feeling like X because of Y"-to take away some of the accusatory vibes.) Instead of confronting your partner with guns a'blazing, just tell them how you're feeling.
"If you are rarely jealous, your gut instinct likely has more justification than if you are chronically jealous," she explains. That can help you suss out whether that jealous feeling gnawing at you is based on solid intuition, or if it’s just anxiety or fear of losing your partner masquerading as intuition. Reflect on moments when that annoying feeling reared its ugly head and what events, if any, provoked them. Know yourself (and your little green-eyed monster).īefore you go all Sherlock Holmes on your S.O.'s social media, take stock of your natural inclination toward jealousy, suggests Squyres. To keep yourself from going green with envy, here are seven expert-approved tips guaranteed to kick jealousy to the curb: 1. If you’ve been burned by a cheating partner in the past, you might be more prone to jealousy because you don’t want to get fooled again.
"Jealous parents will likely convey permissive or even encouraging attitudes about the role of jealousy in committed relationships," she explains.Īnd another (sorta obvious) culprit: your past. Oh, and another super fun thing about relationship jealousy: You can inherit it from your parents (not so upset about getting your mom's nose now, hmm?). That’s because "some people seem to be more naturally or temperamentally jealous than others,” explains Jill Squyres, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Colorado and Texas. "Some people seem to be more naturally or temperamentally jealous than others."